11 Dec

Growth Mindset Hack #4 – Self Talk and Beliefs

As we move through the month of December (can you believe that we are almost half way through the last month of the year?!) my promise to you was to provide you with 10 ways to create or develop a growth mindset.


Your mindset is going to determine your level of success and how you enjoy that success. So let’s review:

Hack #1 – Make a Decision

Hack #2 – Set Goals

Hack #3 – Get an Accountability Partner

Hack #4 – Self Talk & Beliefs – This is what you call the “me” work.

It’s all you baby!

To really appreciate this hack you will have to really take a pause, reflect and get real with yourself. That is one of the key’s to making this one work for you because you are going to have to answer some challenging questions.

What do you believe of yourself? Do you believe that you are intelligent? Capable? Loveable? Accomplished? Strong? If you believe it, are you acting it out? Are you setting boundaries? Are you being honest with people when they hurt you or are you holding it all in? Are you going for that job you just know you would be good for? Are you being vulnerable and real with people around you or are you putting on a show?

Here’s what you really need to know – You will act out what you believe. Believe that!

I read that if we were to talk to our friends the way we talk to ourselves then we would have no friends. Why? Because we can be our own worst enemy. What you believe and what you think and say comes to life. Have you heard that saying – what you think about you bring about? What you think about most is what you will bring into your life. This is why it is so important to watch what you say and how you say it. In fact, research shows that when you bring a thought or idea into your awareness, your brain will work to find opportunities to make that thought or idea a reality. So if you think things like – I am so dumb – your brain will look for opportunities to prove you right. If you say things like – I am an intelligent person – your brain will look for opportunities to prove you right again! Your brain does not discriminate!

Here’s an example, many women who I have spoken to either in my office or in a social setting, will tell me the type of man that they are looking for. They say that they want to find a nice man who is not lazy, mean, or controlling. They basically rhyme off everything that they do not want. Then they wonder why the man with all of the qualities they do not want keeps coming around! Focus on what you want ladies. Instead of saying what you do not want focus on what you want. If we take the example from above, you would say that you want a nice guy who opens doors for me, is respectful, and kind. Always focus on what you want.

Let’s circle back to you because this goes for what you say about yourself too. Daily affirmations that state who you are and are aspiring to be, are the types of affirmations you want to be saying about yourself. Phrases such as I am smart, I am kind, I am successful are statements that will activate your brain to look for opportunities to make what you are saying a reality. Try it and see. I encourage you to say: I am…; You are…; Yes, I am…. This way you are stating who you are, telling yourself who you are, and affirming who you are.

You got this. I believe in you.

Next steps:

  1. Write out three affirmations and put them in high traffic areas so that you can see them daily – bedroom mirror, bathroom mirror, refrigerator etc…
  2. Order the Finesse Your LIfe Journal – Mind, Body & Spirit from amazon OR email info@jenslay.com with “journal” in the subject line.
  3. Register for the Your Life by Design Vision Board workshop by sending an email to info@jenslay.com with “vision” in the subject line.
  4. Share this blog with your network – someone needs to see it today.

Slay your Day!

Photo credit: Howard “Howie” Adams – www.instagram.com/london_lifeportraits

If you would like more information on how to work with Jen Slay or you want to learn more about how to be happy to your core book a 15min telephone Slay session.  Jen would love to talk to you. Go to https://calendly.com/jenslay/15-min-slay-session.  You got this!

Want to contact Jen on social media? You can find her here:

Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/jenslayvision

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/jenslayvisionary

Instagram: www.instagram.com/coachjenslay

Email: info@jenslay.com

website: www.jenslay.com

Linkedin: https://ca.linkedin.com/in/jenslay

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCeP-4bcglXNL2_FVoCr0PdQ

Jennifer Slay is an award winning speaker and best selling author. She is a motivational speaker, registered social worker, therapist, workshop facilitator and online teacher. For more information or to book Jennifer to speak at your event, email at info@jenslay.com or call 1-877-786-7190.



  1. December 17, 2019

    You could definitely see your enthusiasm within the paintings you write. The sector hopes for even more passionate writers like you who are not afraid to mention how they believe. All the time go after your heart.


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