You know, crying is a good coping mechanism. Truly it is! Guys, don’t turn away – you want to read this too.
We have been socialized to think that crying is a “sissy” thing to do. I know a number of men have been told that one before. “Crying is for babies” – how many times have you heard that? You know what? If crying is for babies, then maybe we need to take a look at the lives of babies. There are a few things we can learn from our young friends (babies):
- Ask for what you want. Babies always ask for what they want – albeit they will cry and scream for it but if they are in need of something they don’t wait to see if you will give it to them. They make it known that they are in need. I recall hearing Mr. Steve Harvey say in a talk he was giving (quoted from the Word) “You have not because you ask not” Hmmmmm. Stop being modest and stop being shy. If you want something, ask for it. The worst that can happen is that you are told no!
- Cry about it. Then focus on something else and forget about it (as an adult we manage it). You ever notice how a toddler will cry when they become frustrated, then change their train of thought and just move on with their day? Sometimes we need to release pent up energy. Some people run, some people hit a punching bag, and some people cry. Nothing wrong with any of those coping mechanisms. The point is that releasing the negative energy allows you to have more room for the positive flow. Hmmmmmmm
- Give a hug. Babies and toddlers love to hug. Hugging actually is good for your health! Check out what I found on the world wide web from our friends at mercola.com A 10-second hug a day can lead to biochemical and physiological reactions in your body that can significantly improve your health. According to one study, this includes:6
Lower risk of heart disease Stress reduction Fight fatigue Boost your immune system Fight infections Ease depression
Now, in an office or business setting it may not be kosher to hug your co-workers or employees BUT equate hugging to a word of encouragement. Lauren Romano from eHow.com says that: “Encouragement can play a vital role in how a child grows and develops and how adults thrive in their day-to-day lives. The benefits of encouragement far outweigh the effect of criticism. It cannot only affect individuals, but also those who are in their presence as well”.
But since I’m a hugger – I love a good hug!!!!
- If you don’t have anything nice to say – You know the phrase – don’t say anything at all. This phrase was hammered into many of us as kids and it holds true to this day. Doesn’t matter if you are 2 or 22 or 92, if you have nothing good to say don’t say anything. As adults we often are placed in situations where we have to share our opinions on certain subjects. Well, there is an art to constructive criticism. Yes, you point out what went wrong but you must also provide feedback on how to do better next time. Anyone can come to me with a problem, but if you have no ideas for a solution or even want to find a solution, then why say anything at all? To me, you’re just complaining and taking up valuable time. So if you have something that is hard for the recipient to hear, sandwich it – say something good, followed by the critique, followed by something good. Much easier to receive criticism when given in that manner.
I’m telling you, we can learn a lot from our young friends. You will notice, toddlers and babies are either sleeping, pooping, eating, playing, or laughing. Life really can be that easy. Believe it and it shall be (well maybe with some modifications BUT you get my point).
If you need some help simplifying your life, give me a shout. I’d love to help you down that journey. In the meantime, share with others how you cope when you are feeling stressed. Your commentary could potentially help another.
Remember, Believe In You!!