There is an acronym for fear that I have fallen in love with. It says: False Evidence Appearing Real. It’s so true. In this life, fear should not scare you, it should propel you. Read on and I will explain.
This post won’t be long today. I just want to share a few words about fear. Dictionary.com defines fear as “…a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid”. In all honesty, fear is the result of not having faith in your result. Period. You may be saying “But Jen, I can’t help if I start to feel scared about something!”. Well, yes, you can. This comes with increased self-awareness and self-control which takes purposeful practice (We can discuss this further when you contact me). But I get what you’re saying. The emotion comes up and you are suddenly feeling fearful of something. The quickest and easiest thing I am going to ask you to do is this. When the feelings of fear come up – Breathe then ask yourself why. Then play it through. What are the possible outcomes of letting the fear stopping you or of moving forward. Let me give you two examples. Both very real but one rather silly when I really think about it.
I HATE SPIDERS. I don’t know why I hate spiders, but I do. For a very long time if I saw a spider I would scream and point while jumping on a piece of furniture to get away from it. Now, let’s look at this logically. I am a thousand times bigger than the spider. I live in Canada where 99% of spiders do not bite and are not dangerous. If a spider were to actually touch me it does not take that much effort to flick it away. My point? My fear of spiders is somewhat irrational. It is very real and I won’t minimize it, but I do not have anything to be fearful of. Nothing is going to happen to me if a spider was next to me. When it comes down to it – I just don’t like them. Period. The anxiety and fear are not necessary and I have learned to cope. lol. If you know me and what I was like before with regards to spiders you would understand this is a HUGE accomplishment – lol.
When I look back to my youth, I was fearless. At eighteen, I chose to leave my small town and move to a city where I really didn’t know anyone. Start a whole new chapter of my life away from everything I knew. That was supposed to be scary – but I did it and I’m still here. When I was twenty-two I was finishing up my first degree and found out I was pregnant. If you know my story, I had every reason to be scared – but I did it and I’m still here (and he is 18 and graduating highschool at the top of his class I might add. Yah, I’m a bit proud). When I was forty, I found myself divorced and the mother of three boys. I gave into the fear of the unknown for a minute, but coached myself out of it (literally) and guess what – I’M STILL HERE! My point is this, there are things that happen in life that are scary, that throw us for a loop, that stop us in our tracks, and that make us anxious and sometimes depressed. Let these events FUEL you. Let them DRIVE you forward. Losing material things may happen, but if you follow your purpose you will get them back. Losing people (this is going to sound cold but it’s so true) will happen in life, but if they leave, let them. If God Himself, is not going to force His children to stay with Him when they don’t want to, why are you going to force people to stick around when they don’t want to? Someone better will come along – trust me on that one. I’m not just talking romantic partner, I’m talking about family members and friends too! Just a side note here – the wrong people in your life can induce fear. Be VERY aware of who you surround yourself with. Yes, sometimes people will leave you, but sometimes you have to be strong enough to be the person to leave. It’s for your own benefit.
Notice I’m often saying this post won’t be long and then it ends up being a mini novel? Sorry about that – lol.
Life is full of twists and turns. Situations cause us anxiety and fear. But it is in how we deal with these twists, turns, anxieties, and fears that will determine our success in life. Your ability to be self-aware, self-manage and exercise self-control is vital towards your movement forward. Sometimes, you do need help to get through the situation. We all do sometimes. There is nothing wrong with that. If you are a person needing some support, drop me a line, I’d love to come on the journey with you. But, in the meantime, leave me a comment about how you’ve overcome a fearful situation in your life. I’m almost certain it will be of encouragement to someone who really needs to read it.
Thank you for stopping by! Remember, in everything you do, Believe In You!!
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