I don’t know about you, but when I was 18, 19, and 20yrs old I knew EVERYTHING. I knew all about relationships, I knew how to fix everyone’s problems, I essentially knew everything there was about life. I mean, I had it ALL figured out. I especially knew how to get the attention of googly eyed young men my age by shooting that coy smile and having just the right pep in my step. It helped that I had some pretty cute friends and was pretty cute myself I think (at least my mama always told me that – lol). However, looking cute and knowing everything gets old quick. In fact, as life happens, you just realize, damn, I’m a perpetual student of life. I will NEVER know all there is to know. If I’m blessed enough, I will know enough to get me where I need to be and when I need to be there. I mean, fess up, as time goes on and the job happens, the marriage happens, the kids happen you just get caught up in your own world. Time just flies! It just keeps on ticking. Then, one day something happens and you stop. You stop and remember that laissez faire life you once had and then it becomes nostalgic and you call up your friends and say “Girl, remember when…. Man, back in the day….” Well, let me give you an example of the last time this happened to me. It was just last week!
Last week I got a text from a dear friend of mine who works closely with the basketball team in my city – London Lightening. She said “Jen, do you think your boys would like to come out and bowl with the players from the London Lightening team?” In my head I was like “Heck, yes!!!” Now, yes, I was excited for the opportunity for my little ones to get out and be with some positive young men, BUT can we be totally real? Can I be completely honest with you? Can you say 2hr break??!!!! Time for me to do whatever I want for 2hrs!?!?!?! Remember Friday’s post about building a community and taking care of you? Well – opportunity struck and I was going to take full advantage. But, I digress. What I actually responded back with was “For sure, they’d love to. Thank you so much for the opportunity. We will be there promptly at 6pm”. So a few days later, I’m bringing my boys to the bowling alley and I walk into the building and that moment hit me. The moment when you truly realize you are no longer 20yrs old. The moment you realize you are surrounded by 20 something year olds and you are no longer one of them! I have to just mention something here. I’m 41yrs young and I don’t think it was wrong for me to appreciate fine art. The Lightening players were some good looking young men. You know, typical athletic looking, strong, viral, young men – but that’s besides the point. Let me get back to my point. As I was watching my boys bowl for a bit I was looking at these Lightening players and thinking, when did I become the cool aunty in this situation (not quite old enough to be the mom of these players but really – not far off). What I mean by that is I still remember the days when I would walk into a situation like being in a room full of athletes and I’d be all googly eyed and wanting to maybe go out on a date with one of them and they with me! When did the tables turn? I mean, I walked in there in full stereotypical mommy gear – track pants, winter boots, pom pom hat and bulky coat. WHEN DID I BECOME THE MOM AND NOT THE VIXEN?!?!?! When I left the bowling alley I called up my best girlfriend and said “C! When did we get old? Where did the time go? When did I become the mom in the situation instead of the vixen (Ok, I may be embellishing a bit on the vixen part of this story BUT IT’S MY STORY – bear with me). My girlfriend laughed with me then said “Girl, time keeps going. You’ve got to live your life and do what you want to do. No regrets.” And so I stopped for a second. I paused. I mean, I can honestly say, I’ve lived a pretty good life to date. I’ve done what I’ve set out to do in terms of marriage, kids, career, friendships. There have been bumps along the way, but I survived them. I’m doing well. I’m doing what I want to do in terms of business ventures. No regrets. But what struck me was that old adage that says – Time waits for no one. There is no pause. There is no rewind. There is no do over. Time waits on none of us my friend. You truly have to live the life you’ve imagined now because in a blink of an eye – 20 yrs goes by and you are no longer the vixen.
The great thing with life though, is that although you can’t pause, and you can’t rewind and you can’t do over, you can ALWAYS start a new chapter. You can always decide to take a new course. You can always do and be whatever you imagined you could do or be. It starts with a realization of where you are, where you’ve been, and where you want to go. Today, is a new day, and it can be the start of something phenomenal. The only person stopping you from being more incredible than you already are is YOU. Admittedly, there are times we feel stuck and need a little support to get to where we want to go. But don’t let that stop you. Find a mentor or a coach that is right for you and start that new chapter.
I would love to hear about your big aha moments. Shoot me a message on facebook at www.facebook/jenslayvisionary; tweet me at @jenslayvision, or email me at email@example.com and we can have a conversation. You’re best life truly does start – right now.
Have a good one.
Believing in you,