Separate Fact from Fiction
Do you know someone or perhaps you yourself are the self-proclaimed victim of the absolute statements that our inner bullies love to say? Bully statements include these words: never, can’t, always, hate, wouldn’t, couldn’t. Here’s the thing, if you say phrases such as “I never do anything right” or “I always mess up”, then your brain will start to believe you and you will more often than not fulfill what it is you are saying about yourself. You are giving your inner bully power.
These types of absolute statements are simply what I call pieces of fiction because they simply are not true. I will prove it to you. Please grab a piece of paper. Draw a line down the middle. Now, think of the statement that you made, for example let’s use the statement “I always mess up.” Think of the reasons/examples where you have in fact messed up (just so you know it is normal to mess up sometimes – it’s how we learn the greatest lessons) and write them down on one side of your paper. Once you have done that, I now want you to think of a few examples where you have NOT messed up and write them on the other side of your paper. If you can think of ONE thing, then you have already disproved your absolute statement and proven that it is in fact, fiction.
In doing this exercise did you find it easier and faster to think of the negative stuff before the positive stuff? If you answered yes, don’t worry. It’s normal. Research and science will tell us that the way our brains work, we will remember the negative faster than we will remember the positive. For this reason, it can take a little longer to pull out the positive, however, if we train our brains to think of the positive and concentrate on the positive (on the wins) more than the negatives/losses, the speed at which we think of our positive attributes will get faster. If you need some help, maybe get the opinion of a trusted friend, colleague or family member. The operative word here is TRUSTED.
Separating fact from fiction is one way that we Slay our Inner Bully. We are going to talk about other ways to overcome that inner bully on Friday, January 12, 2018 at 11:30am EST. You can watch live at www.facebook.com/jenslayvisionary
One more thing!
I need you to know that even though I suggest you focus on your wins it is so important to understand your losses. We really cannot afford to dismiss them. To understand why you did not succeed at something is important so that you can do better the next time. This time of reflection is not to beat yourself up but more to learn and grow from the situation.
You got this! #SlayYourDay
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P.S. I wrote a book called Finesse Your Life – Mind, Body and Spirit AND the Finesse Your Life Journal is also available! Check it out on Amazon.com and Amazon.ca! Paperback and Kindle versions available. For an autographed copy please go to the website under the “shop” tab.