Want to Thrive?

  HEAR YE, HEAR YE!!!!

Jen Slay (me) wants to introduce an event for you to enhance your thriving abilities!

Introducing The Thrive Academy: a new way to Thrive!

“According to research, the two factors that effectively help people achieve the behavior change they desire are incentives and accountability.” ~ The Mission Podcasts

For those of you who were not aware, I have a sister company called Thrive Experts.  The focus is to help individuals and businesses thrive in their current situations – despite their current conditions.  Over my time as a counselor, a coach and now as a Thrive Expert, I have heard hundreds of excuses (reasons) for why goals have not been met.  Th most common complaints have been:

I have no time.

I can’t afford it.

I don’t know how.

I am missing the support I need to ____.

I am stuck.

Have you ever said any of these? Odds are you have.  Don’t worry though – you are not alone.  I have said some of these statements myself!

However, if you know me then you know I am a woman who will find a solution to the problem.  The solution is The Thrive Academy.

With an investment of $25 per week and 30 minutes of your time per week, the Thrive Experts will provide you with weekly educational strategy sessions and accountability partners that will help move you forward and get results.

Cool right?

It is time to focus on the right tasks whether in business, relationships, finances or life in general.

The Thrive Academy is your solution.

The time is now.

Join us EVERY Monday at 8 AM EST beginning Nov 5, 2018.

Recordings Available on demand to paid participants.

Take action. Secure your spot. Click here. > https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr

Operate above the line.

Live Life Better Than Good.

P.S. Please share this with your contacts, someone needs to hear this today.

How Does Change Really Happen?

As a counselor and as a coach there is one thing that people complain about A LOT! Most of us at one time or the other have felt this way too. It is that feeling of –

STUCK!!

That stuck feeling is especially difficult when we know in our heads what we need to do to create the change to move forward but then for one reason or the other we do not do it. Well, if I may simplify the process of change may I suggest that real change requires three steps.

1. A decision

2. Practice

3. Accountability

Like I said, I am simplifying the process. However, ideally what we want to do is to rewire our brains to create new pathways which create new habits which creates CHANGE. I was listening to an interview yesterday where Barbara Oakley, PhD was interviewing a very successful entrepreneur and he said “When you take action you always get results.” The result may not always be exactly what we want, but it gets us closer to where we want to be. Hmmmmmmm.

So how do we create this change? Here are a couple of tips to get started:

1. Make a decision. When we decide what behaviors are not serving us well then we can decide to make a change. Do you want to portray being cool as a cucumber during a crisis instead of anxious and uneasy? Do you want to curve the amount of desserts you eat in order to live a healthier lifestyle? Do you want to start reading more in an effort to gain more knowledge on a particular subject and expand your mind? No matter what the behavior or desired goal, identify it and make a decision of what you want the change/improvement to look like.

2. Practice what you preach! You made your decision now practice the skill. The key is to be aware and to consciously make decisions throughout your day that allow you to practice what it is you want to learn to do or to change. The more we practice the more it becomes a habit. A habit is something we do subconsciously. It is something that we do without thinking. If we can consciously practice the new behavior/strategy/skill then it will eventually become part of our subconscious which means it becomes something we do automatically. This is our goal!

3. Be accountable to someone. Research shows that when you are partnered with a person who is in agreement with your goals and will hold you accountable to what you say – YOU WILL BE MORE SUCCESSFUL! I know that when I tell someone I am going to do something I make every effort to follow through because I really do not like feeling like I am giving an excuse for why I did not do what I said I was going to do. Of course, sometimes things come up, BUT more often than not, the reason for not following through is because when we are not accountable to someone we have a tendency to procrastinate. It’s true. Being accountable to someone increases our rate of success.

The steps to create change are simple – but not necessarily easy. Increase your chances for success by making a decision, practicing what you preach, and being held accountable. Remember, when we take action we will always get a result.

This is how we thrive. Live life better than good.

Please like, leave a comment and share this post with someone you know. Someone needs to read this today.

#thriver #thrive #ThriveExperts #performance #wellness #flourish#BeBetterThanGood #finesse #PartnerInPossibility #ThriveCommunity#flourish #grow #develop #leadership #business #professionals #success#prosper #advance #positive #psychology #counselling #coaching#consulting #behaviour #ExtendedDiSC #change #mindset#SubconsiousMind #EmotionalIntelligence

Jennifer Slay is an award winning speaker and best selling author. She is a registered social worker and therapist and one half of the Thrive Experts. For more information or to book Jennifer/Thrive experts to speak at your event, email at info@thrivexperts.com or call 1-877-786-7190.

Photo credit: Jasmina Photography

Want to contact me?  You can find me here:

Twitter:  www.twitter.com/JenSlayvision

Facebook:  www.facebook.com/jenslayvisionary

Instagram:  www.instagram.com/coachjenslay

Email:  info@thrivexperts.com

Linkedin:  https://ca.linkedin.com/in/jenslay

website:  www.jenslay.com

Youtube:  https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCeP-4bcglXNL2_FVoCr0PdQ

 

Remember to subscribe!  

Simple Lessons the Best Lessons

Today I want to share how grateful I am for simplistic situations that can be used to teach life lessons.

Life has the ability to change in the mere blink of an eye – literally. Last night I was hanging out with my parents and my eldest son. Always a fun time. Then suddenly my eyes started to itch. I shrugged it off thinking I just had to wash off my eye makeup. Then, within minutes, they started to really itch. Now I’m thinking – allergies. Then my sinuses started, my chest hurt, and I started to feel awful. When I say this was a sudden onset, I mean, this happened within minutes. It looked as though I was heading for a summer cold. So I went to the home remedies and  immediately boiled some water, and put together the mix of honey, lemon and apple cider vinegar. I drank it and wrapped myself in a blanket and got some sleep. I woke up this morning, feeling better but still a little weak. The part I excluded from the story was that my son wanted to talk to me about his schooling in the fall and wanted to make some plans. My son is very independent and when he says “mom let’s chat” I know it is a pretty big deal. So I had a choice – push through and give him as much of my attention or take care of myself.

I decided to take care of myself. I told him I wasn’t feeling well and we could chat in the morning. This may not seem like a big deal but when it comes to my children, I try my best to be there for them right when they need me. What I did do, was provide him with the paperwork he needed to help him with his issue but ultimately I chose to take care of myself.

What’s the point?

It is rather a simple one really. Over the last couple of weeks, the posts and articles that we, at Thrive Experts, have been posting discuss integrity and honesty. Being an example is part of integrity. Showing yourself and others that you matter by taking care of your own needs lets yourself know, and others know, that you matter. Pushing through may seem admirable and martyr-like, however, the message you tell yourself subconsciously is that your needs do not matter. This impacts your thoughts and your self-confidence which ultimately will impact your self-worth. It’s true! What we have to understand is that EVERY choice we make impacts our subconsciousness. It gives our subconsciousness messages about how we feel about ourselves and the world around us. Our subconscious drives our consciousness. Therefore, those decisions that seem simplistic are really a pretty big deal.

This is a simple example, but an effective one in that it shows how sometimes, our lives can take an unexpected twist after we have made our plans. We are left with choices and we have to decide what is best. Push through and risk making a mistake because you are not at your optimal place or take the break and come back stronger? The choice is ultimately yours.

Living your life with integrity means being very aware of what your body is telling you and taking the appropriate action to take care of yourself. This is how we thrive.

Live life better than good. Operate above the line.

Please like, share and comment below.  I appreciate you.  Be sure to visit me over at Thrive Experts  www.thrivexperts.com and contact me, Jen Slay, or Jennifer Jimbere with any questions you may have.

Jennifer Slay is an award winning speaker and best selling author. She is a practicing social worker and therapist and one half of the Thrive Experts. For more information or to book Jennifer to speak at your event, email at info@jenslay.com or call 1-877-786-7190.

#thriver #thrive #ThriveExperts #performance #wellness #flourish#BeBetterThanGood #finesse #PartnerInPossibility #ThriveCommunity#flourish #grow #develop #leadership #business #professionals#success #prosper #advance #positive #psychology #counselling#coaching #consulting #behaviour #ExtendedDiSC #change #mindset#SubconsiousMind #EmotionalIntelligence #Facebook, #Linkedin, #Pinterest, #Periscope, #Tumblr, #Twitter

   Want to contact me?  Here are the ways:

Twitter:  www.twitter.com/JenSlayvision

Facebook:  www.facebook.com/jenslayvisionary

Instagram:  www.instagram.com/coachjenslay

Email:  info@jenslay.com

Linkedin:  https://ca.linkedin.com/in/jenslay

website:  www.jenslay.com

Youtube:  https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCeP-4bcglXNL2_FVoCr0PdQ

 

Remember to subscribe!  

We have a Finesse private Facebook group where we interact daily to encourage and support one another.  Please join us:  https://www.facebook.com/groups/FinesseYourLife/

Slay Your Day!

P.S. I wrote a book called Finesse Your Life – Mind, Body and Spirit AND the Finesse Your Life Journal is also available!  Check it out on Amazon.com and Amazon.ca!  Paperback and Kindle versions available.  For an autographed copy please go to the website under the “shop” tab or shoot me an email at info@jenslay.com.

https://www.amazon.com/Finesse-Your-Life-Mind-Spirit/dp/1548117080/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1499282890&sr=8-1&keywords=Finesse+Your+Life

 
Want to hang out with me 365 days a year?  Check out the Finesse Your Life Journal.  This journal will help you to focus on gratitude, see yourself in a positive light, and allow you to totally and completely express yourself with no judgement.  https://www.amazon.com/Finesse-Your-Life-Journal-Jennifer/dp/197431720X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1504891247&sr=8-1&keywords=finesse+your+life+journal
P.P.S I was a featured author in Dreaming Big Being Bold and made the International Best Selling Author status.  Message me at info@jenslay.com to get your copy today!
http://ow.ly/ipjk30eUSXU
Dreaming Big Being Bold 3: Inspiring Stories From Visionaries, Trailblazers & Change Makers by [Morand, Paula, Craig, Victoria]

 

That VOICE!

We all have a voice in our head that can be used to encourage and push ourselves forward. It can motivate us and provide us with daily reminders of just how wonderfully unique we are – every single one of us.  It’s too bad that this  ‘good’ voice is not the normal experience for many of us.  In fact, that inner voice can be our worst critic, or as I call it – an inner bully.
A bully uses manipulation and fear to taunt us into doing or not doing something.  A bully will tease and put us down in an effort to damage our spirit and make us feel low.  Well, let’s think about the inner bully for a moment.  The inner bully is loudest when we want to take a step towards trying something new – am I right?  When we take a step outside of the our comfort zone the bully reminds us of our short comings and tries to dissuade us from improving ourselves.
Why do you think this happens?
Well, the inner bully likes the status quo – it likes things just the way they are.  the inner bully would prefer for things to stay the way they are and not change.  It likes predictable because it is manageable and there is no risk.  In essence the bully manipulates us into not trying or pursuing something new by using our fears and inaction against us.
How is this working for you?  For me – IT SUCKED!
My bully became a roaring megaphone in my head during the most challenging times in my life to the point where I literally wanted to fall asleep and not wake up – seriously.
How did I learn to control it and manage it?  I’d love to share that with you.
Please join me this evening, Friday, June 15th at 9pm EST for a FREE Slay Your Inner Bully Masterclass.
June 15, 2018: https://lnkd.in/d3GR2pc -9pm EST
In this class you will be introduced to learning how to:
 
Eliminate Your Abundance Blocks
 
Transform Yourself into a Catalyst for Positive Change
 
Expand Abundance in Every Area of Your Life
 
Can’t make it tonight?  Register for one of the upcoming Slay Your Inner Bully FREE masterclasses and help yourself shift your life for the better!
June 19, 2018: https://lnkd.in/d2H7B7W -8am EST
June 30, 2018: https://lnkd.in/d_fUFq7 -8am EST
June 30, 2018: https://lnkd.in/d_jku5h -8pm EST

 See you soon and remember – YOU GOT THIS!  #SlayYourDay

 

 

#SlayYourDay

Twitter:  www.twitter.com/JenSlayvision

Facebook:  www.facebook.com/jenslayvisionary

Instagram:  www.instagram.com/coachjenslay

Email:  info@jenslay.com

Linkedin:  https://ca.linkedin.com/in/jenslay

website:  www.jenslay.com

Youtube:  https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCeP-4bcglXNL2_FVoCr0PdQ

 

Remember to subscribe!  

We have a Finesse private Facebook group where we interact daily to encourage and support one another.  Please join us:  https://www.facebook.com/groups/FinesseYourLife/

Slay Your Day!

P.S. I wrote a book called Finesse Your Life – Mind, Body and Spirit AND the Finesse Your Life Journal is also available!  Check it out on Amazon.com and Amazon.ca!  Paperback and Kindle versions available.  For an autographed copy please go to the website under the “shop” tab or shoot me an email at info@jenslay.com.

https://www.amazon.com/Finesse-Your-Life-Mind-Spirit/dp/1548117080/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1499282890&sr=8-1&keywords=Finesse+Your+Life

 
Want to hang out with me 365 days a year?  Check out the Finesse Your Life Journal.  This journal will help you to focus on gratitude, see yourself in a positive light, and allow you to totally and completely express yourself with no judgement.  https://www.amazon.com/Finesse-Your-Life-Journal-Jennifer/dp/197431720X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1504891247&sr=8-1&keywords=finesse+your+life+journal
P.P.S I was a featured author in Dreaming Big Being Bold and made the International Best Selling Author status.  Message me at info@jenslay.com to get your copy today!
http://ow.ly/ipjk30eUSXU
Dreaming Big Being Bold 3: Inspiring Stories From Visionaries, Trailblazers & Change Makers by [Morand, Paula, Craig, Victoria]

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In Conversation with Jen Slay – Guest Delizioso

For TWO YEARS I’ve wanted to start this podcast called In Conversation with Jen Slay where I interview and highlight individuals from all over the world who have gone through significant challenges or who are helping to support people who are going through significant challenges.  As you know, my passion is to provide you the tools you need to live your life bigger and better than you could ever imagine.  This is but one way.

 

Tonight will be our fourth In Conversation episode!  So excited.  Let me tell you a little bit about our guests tonight.

Delizioso are comprised of two young women who are chemists, entrepreneurs and rock stars.  Hmmmmmm?  Check out their bio:

A story of two sisters that discovered the amount of toxic sludge that goes into cosmetics tremendously affects our health. So they decided to change the world of cosmetics and skincare and create a line of all the products that you would ever need. It took a few years of intense research and testing but these products had to be tested, water free, 100% natural, FRESH, raw and truly the definition of purity and luxury.
From the very start Delizioso Skincare sourced their ingredients from beautiful small fair trade farms all over the world. Everything is undiluted and genuine. Including the very unique ingredients that Delizioso Skincare has developed. The products are made to work, be healthy, and luxurious. These genuine fresh treasures are made for you.
European based knowledge of skincare and manufacturing techniques assisted Delizioso to create a line that signifies luxury at its best standards. The best modern scientific testing is brought forth. The most fresh herbs and ingredients are used, freshly grown in the company’s fields. For example: Bulgarian Rose oil, hand picked in Bulgaria yields the pure oil that is incorporated in the exquisite face creams. Just open a jar of Delizioso Skincare and you will immediately an effective and delicious product that harnesses the very power of nature at your fingertips.
How are we different from any other natural skin care lines?
So many natural skin care products are diluted with water and contain very low amounts of actives. Delizioso Skincare prides in never having to dilute our natural skincare. We carry a line of skincare like no other; containing active and biodynamic molecules in every ounce of product. From shower gels to facial creams, your skin will receive extreme nourishment and the highest quality delivery system of antioxidants. Delizioso Skincare is the only company in the world that incorporates our potent anti-oxidant complex in every single formulation. The complex formulated from raw botanicals and fruit oils derivates works to preserve our formulations and increase skin smoothing effects. Asides from that, many of our scents are specially formulated to provide you with a line of natural bath & body care with delicious and natural aromas like passion fruit and pomegranate. Completely original and unique, Delizioso Skincare provides luxurious spa quality natural skincare with outstanding effects on skin.
Our philosophy ‘natural made simple’ is actually quite simple. All our products contain 100% natural, pure, and many certified organic ingredients. Our formulations include the purest essential oils, preserving the products with a natural antioxidant preservative. Being the only company to use a preservative based on essential and plant derivates, Delizioso Skincare prides in being 100% Paraben and synthetic free.
We started our mission in the year of 2008, when our very first formulation was prepared. Environment was always a reason Delizioso Skincare started to prepare natural yet delicious formulations, and bath body products. Another achievement we pride is being 100% cruelty free. We all love our cuddly pets here, and nothing will make us test our products on beings that deserve a right to live. Being that we use only 100% Natural ingredients there are no reasons for us to test on animals. One small hint is even if a company says that they do not test on animals and if their products contain synthetic ingredients, chances are they do. All synthetic ingredients get tested on animals to see whether they are carcinogens and toxic to our health.  Enjoy your stay with us, and our products as much as you enjoy living in a healthy atmosphere!
Ingredients are always fully disclosed…
Paraben Free
Alcohol & Chlorine Free
Petrochemical Free
GMO Free
Gluten Free
Fragrance Free
Formaldehyde Free
Pesticide Free
“We love to make women beautiful using the purest all natural products and ingredients.
Our goal is to bring beauty to everyone.”
Ariel + Leeona Emerald, Delizioso Skincare Founders
We are going to have a lot of fun tonight!  Join us at 6:30pm EST – bit.ly/JenInConvoDelizioso
 #SlayYourDay

Twitter:  www.twitter.com/JenSlayvision

Facebook:  www.facebook.com/jenslayvisionary

Instagram:  www.instagram.com/coachjenslay

Email:  info@jenslay.com

Linkedin:  https://ca.linkedin.com/in/jenslay

website:  www.jenslay.com

Youtube:  https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCeP-4bcglXNL2_FVoCr0PdQ

 

Remember to subscribe!  

We have a Finesse private Facebook group where we interact daily to encourage and support one another.  Please join us:  https://www.facebook.com/groups/FinesseYourLife/

Slay Your Day!

P.S. I wrote a book called Finesse Your Life – Mind, Body and Spirit AND the Finesse Your Life Journal is also available!  Check it out on Amazon.com and Amazon.ca!  Paperback and Kindle versions available.  For an autographed copy please go to the website under the “shop” tab or shoot me an email at info@jenslay.com.

https://www.amazon.com/Finesse-Your-Life-Mind-Spirit/dp/1548117080/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1499282890&sr=8-1&keywords=Finesse+Your+Life

 
Want to hang out with me 365 days a year?  Check out the Finesse Your Life Journal.  This journal will help you to focus on gratitude, see yourself in a positive light, and allow you to totally and completely express yourself with no judgement.  https://www.amazon.com/Finesse-Your-Life-Journal-Jennifer/dp/197431720X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1504891247&sr=8-1&keywords=finesse+your+life+journal
P.P.S I was a featured author in Dreaming Big Being Bold and made the International Best Selling Author status.  Message me at info@jenslay.com to get your copy today!
http://ow.ly/ipjk30eUSXU
Dreaming Big Being Bold 3: Inspiring Stories From Visionaries, Trailblazers & Change Makers by [Morand, Paula, Craig, Victoria]

 

Separate Fact from Fiction

Do you know someone or perhaps you yourself are the self-proclaimed victim of the absolute statements that our inner bullies love to say?  Bully statements include these words:  never, can’t, always, hate, wouldn’t, couldn’t.  Here’s the thing, if you say phrases such as “I never do anything right” or “I always mess up”, then your brain will start to believe you and you will more often than not fulfill what it is you are saying about yourself.  You are giving your inner bully power.

These types of absolute statements are simply what I call pieces of fiction because they simply are not true.  I will prove it to you.  Please grab a piece of paper.  Draw a line down the middle.  Now, think of the statement that you made, for example let’s use the statement “I always mess up.”  Think of the reasons/examples where you have in fact messed up (just so you know it is normal to mess up sometimes – it’s how we learn the greatest lessons) and write them down on one side of your paper.  Once you have done that, I now want you to think of a few examples where you have NOT messed up and write them on the other side of your paper.  If you can think of ONE thing, then you have already disproved your absolute statement and proven that it is in fact, fiction.

In doing this exercise did you find it easier and faster to think of the negative stuff before the positive stuff?  If you answered yes, don’t worry.  It’s normal.  Research and science will tell us that the way our brains work, we will remember the negative faster than we will remember the positive.  For this reason, it can take a little longer to pull out the positive, however, if we train our brains to think of the positive and concentrate on the positive (on the wins) more than the negatives/losses, the speed at which we think of our positive attributes will get faster.  If you need some help, maybe get the opinion of a trusted friend, colleague or family member.  The operative word here is TRUSTED.

Separating fact from fiction is one way that we Slay our Inner Bully.  We are going to talk about other ways to overcome that inner bully on Friday, January 12, 2018 at 11:30am EST.   You can watch live at www.facebook.com/jenslayvisionary

One more thing!

I need you to know that even though I suggest you focus on your wins it is so important to understand your losses.  We really cannot afford to dismiss them.  To understand why you did not succeed at something is important so that you can do better the next time.  This time of reflection is not to beat yourself up but more to learn and grow from the situation.

You got this!  #SlayYourDay

#SlayYourDay

Twitter:  www.twitter.com/JenSlayvision

Facebook:  www.facebook.com/jenslayvisionary

Instagram:  www.instagram.com/coachjenslay

Email:  info@jenslay.com

Linkedin:  https://ca.linkedin.com/in/jenslay

website:  www.jenslay.com

Youtube:  https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCeP-4bcglXNL2_FVoCr0PdQ

 

Remember to subscribe!  

We have a Finesse private Facebook group where we interact daily to encourage and support one another.  Please join us:  https://www.facebook.com/groups/FinesseYourLife/

Slay Your Day!

P.S. I wrote a book called Finesse Your Life – Mind, Body and Spirit AND the Finesse Your Life Journal is also available!  Check it out on Amazon.com and Amazon.ca!  Paperback and Kindle versions available.  For an autographed copy please go to the website under the “shop” tab.

https://www.amazon.com/Finesse-Your-Life-Mind-Spirit/dp/1548117080/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1499282890&sr=8-1&keywords=Finesse+Your+Life

 
Want to hang out with me 365 days a year?  Check out the Finesse Your Life Journal.  This journal will help you to focus on gratitude, see yourself in a positive light, and allow you to totally and completely express yourself with no judgement.  https://www.amazon.com/Finesse-Your-Life-Journal-Jennifer/dp/197431720X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1504891247&sr=8-1&keywords=finesse+your+life+journal
P.P.S I was a featured author in Dreaming Big Being Bold and made the International Best Selling Author status.  Message me at info@jenslay.com to get your copy today!
http://ow.ly/ipjk30eUSXU
Dreaming Big Being Bold 3: Inspiring Stories From Visionaries, Trailblazers & Change Makers by [Morand, Paula, Craig, Victoria]

 

Fear. Dreams. Opportunity.

Setting goals can sometimes feel like a chore and sometimes we will find everything else to do (procrastinate) so that we don’t have to actually set them.  Why we do this?  I could get into the psychology behind it but ultimately, many of us get comfortable in our discomfort and don’t want to disrupt the flow that’s not serving us well.  So we do nothing.

photo credit: Jasmina Photography

But let me ask you something.  How does it feel when you accomplish a goal?  Especially one that you had in the back of your mind but never really made a plan for it to happen?  That happened to me last year when I was asked to be a dancer in Dancing with the Easter Seals Stars.  Turns out that this event was like one of the highlights of my life.  I know, sounds dramatic, but it was an experience of a lifetime!

I have always been a fan of the TV show Dancing with the Stars and I ALWAYS felt like I wanted to be a dancer.  However, I will have to admit, gracefulness and Jen Slay are not words that are often put in the same sentence.  I remember a time when I was in highschool when I was walking through Centerspot (a place where all the grade 12s/Seniors hung out) and I just fell.  No reason.  I just fell.  I had tripped over my own feet.  I can still hear the laughter and screams of shock the seniors made towards me – a ninth grader.  I can actually laugh about it 25yrs later.  I remember another time – actually a multitude of times – where I will be walking with my boys and I will stumble.  No reason.  I just trip myself.  My eldest tells me I walk too fast but I’m a woman with a mission (most days) and have somewhere to be!  So, like I wrote, gracefulness is not a word to describe me.  But I would dream of being a dancer on this show.  Literally, I’d dream it and visualize it and feel it.  Then – IT HAPPENED.

One day I got a call from the organizer, Stace, of the Easter Seals fundraiser called Dancing with the Easter Seals Stars.  Easter Seals is a charity that works with physically disabled children to help them experience the joys of life that most of us able bodied people take for granted.  Here’s a link – check it out:  But back to the story.  Stace said “Jen, we think you’d make a fabulous dancer and a great addition to the cast for this event we’re putting on.”  Now, I can see why she’d say that.  I’m a great actress.  Most people THINK that I’m well poised and graceful.  Only my immediate family knows the truth.  Well, and now all of you!  But anyways,  I immediately started to laugh when Stace said this to me because I know that I stumble and fall with no provocation.  Then Stace, likely sensing my hesitation and hearing my laughter, said, “I’m serious”.   I stopped laughing.   I had to give this some thought.  It was one thing to know that I’m a little clumsy but a whole other thing to provide evidence to a group of people that I didn’t know that I am not as “poised” as I let on to be.  However, Stace is persistent – which is why she is good at what she does.  And I agreed to be part of the show!

Can I just say that this was the BEST DECISION OF MY LIFE.

For three months I was trained by a professional dancer.  I learned grace and poise.  I trained hard and developed a deeper appreciation for what I was capable of doing.  I learned to trust my coach.  I relearned that with a goal in mind, hard work, trust, and belief, ANYTHING is possible.   I became my own biggest fan because I was pretty damn proud of myself for pulling off a waltz and a Chacha – WITHOUT FALLING OR TRIPPING!  And when I danced, it was magical.  I’ve attached the link to the home video my son took of me dancing.  It was something that I will always treasure.

So you may be asking – What does any of this have to do with goals?

Well, here’s the thing.  I am committed to helping others while uplifting myself and providing individuals with tools and strategies to empower themselves.  That’s who I am.  It’s what I do.  But I want us all to remember a few things.  Setting goals is more than just figuring out what you want and creating a plan to make it happen.  It is also about being aware of the opportunities as they present themselves.  It is about taking a pause when situations come up to think about how the situation could further you along and potentially meet a goal/dream you have tucked away in your brain.  It is about dreaming.  My experience with Dancing with the Easter Seals Stars allowed me to help a worthy cause while fulfilling a dream that I had tucked away in the back of my brain.   It was a win-win.  But I almost missed it because my immediate reaction was to say no out of fear of looking silly.

What are you worried about/scared of/apprehensive about that is making you say no to opportunities that could potentially enrich your life in ways you can’t even imagine?  You may want to rethink your position and actually go for it.  It may change your life.

While you’re thinking, this blog is also to ask you to support this year’s Dancing with the Easter Seals Stars on September 29, 2017.  I will be there – not dancing though – but I’d love to spend the evening with you!  The poster is below.  Check it out and get your tickets today!  If you are not able to make it then please share the poster.  We want this to be the best year yet and we need your help to make that a reality.

If you have any trouble getting through for tickets let me know and I’ll hook you up with the organizer – Stace.  She’s great!  See you on the 29th!

Love and belief in you always,

Jen

Be sure to SUBSCRIBE to the YouTube channel.  Fun stuff happening this fall!

If you liked what you’ve read and it has helped you in some way please like, share, and comment below.  If you didn’t like what you read – share it anyway – someone needs to read this today.

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Remember to subscribe!  We have a Finesse private Facebook group where we interact daily to encourage and support one another.  Please join us:  https://www.facebook.com/groups/FinesseYourLife/

Slay Your Day!

P.S. I wrote a book called Finesse Your Life – Mind, Body and Spirit AND the Finesse Your Life Journal is also available!  Check it out on Amazon.com and Amazon.ca!  Paperback and Kindle versions available.  For an autographed copy please go to the website under the “shop” tab.

https://www.amazon.com/Finesse-Your-Life-Mind-Spirit/dp/1548117080/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1499282890&sr=8-1&keywords=Finesse+Your+Life

 
Want to hang out with me 365 days a year?  Check out the Finesse Your Life Journal.  This journal will help you to focus on gratitude, see yourself in a positive light, and allow you to totally and completely express yourself with no judgement.  https://www.amazon.com/Finesse-Your-Life-Journal-Jennifer/dp/197431720X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1504891247&sr=8-1&keywords=finesse+your+life+journal
P.P.S I was a featured author in Dreaming Big Being Bold and made the International Best Selling Author status.  Message me at info@jenslay.com to get your copy today!
http://ow.ly/ipjk30eUSXU
Dreaming Big Being Bold 3: Inspiring Stories From Visionaries, Trailblazers & Change Makers by [Morand, Paula, Craig, Victoria]

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This is MY experience

In a time of racial tension in the USA and around the world, when I get into conversations about race and discrimination well-meaning friends and acquaintances will often say to me – “Jen, when I see you, I don’t see color.  When I see you I just see you and love you for who you are”   When I hear that, I get it.  I understand.  They are trying to be inclusive and they’re trying to say that they love me the person – my spirit, my mind – and they don’t care about the physical appearance.  So I am thankful because I know their intention.  But let me be clear, when someone says that they only see me and they do not see color, they are squashing that piece of me that ultimately makes me who I am.  They are not actually seeing me.

Being a black woman means that I have the unique issues, challenges and gifts every woman has in addition to this whole other world of being visibly different from the majority that live in my world.

Photo credit: Your Story Photography

 

As a child, I felt like I fit nowhere.  I was rambunctious and mouthy – full of energy and really, really smart.  Due to my vivacious personality, I did not fit in with my well-mannered black girl friends and I always felt like I did not quite fit in with my white girl friends.  And so, I lived in my own world.  Luckily, I had parents who always told me that I was beautiful, smart and could do anything with my life if I worked hard and studied hard.  They taught me the art of discipline and focus.  As a result, these characteristics made me a strong woman.

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As a black girl growing up in a place where I was often the only visible minority in my class and 1 of 4 in my school of 200+ – when images of black people came up on the screen on movie day I felt like all eyes were on me.  When we discussed issues pertaining to the black community in history, like slavery, it felt like all eyes were on me.  And when black people were treated unfairly in the world, like when Rodney King was beaten in the streets by police, it felt like all eyes were on me.  It’s a feeling that really cannot be described by any one word.

I’ve never been militant.  I’ve never marched anywhere, but I have always known that being black is part of my identity.  It makes me empathetic to unfair treatment.  It makes me understand the person who feels left out or like they do not fit in.  It makes me understand the importance of having pride for where you come from and the unique cultural practices that comes with that.  It makes me understand the youth whose parents don’t get what it’s like to grow up in a multicultural community because they grew up back home.  It also allows me to understand the fears of parents raising their kids in a multi-cultural community because they grew up in a community where the village literally raised the child.

photo credit: jasminaphotography.com

I get what it’s like to be different and have to navigate teenage years not looking like everyone else.  BUT this is my experience as a black girl and as a black woman.  Not everyone’s experience is the same.  So, I’m not simply a woman.  You cannot know me and not understand that my blackness, my black experience makes me who I am.  It has shaped me.

So when you see me, if you say you do not see color you are essentially saying you do not see – me.

NEVER be afraid to speak your truth or share what’s in your heart.  Be respectful, be authentic and come from a place or love.  You got this.

Be sure to SUBSCRIBE to the YouTube channel.  Fun stuff happening this fall!

If you liked what you’ve read and it has helped you in some way please like, share, and comment below.  If you didn’t like what you read – share it anyway – someone needs to read this today.

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Remember to subscribe!  We have a Finesse private Facebook group where we interact daily to encourage and support one another.  Please join us:  https://www.facebook.com/groups/FinesseYourLife/

Slay Your Day!

P.P.S. I wrote a book called Finesse Your Life – Mind, Body and Spirit AND the Finesse Your Life Journal is also available!  Check it out on Amazon.com and Amazon.ca!  Paperback and Kindle versions available.  For an autographed copy please go to the website under the “shop” tab.

https://www.amazon.com/Finesse-Your-Life-Mind-Spirit/dp/1548117080/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1499282890&sr=8-1&keywords=Finesse+Your+Life

Visit Jen on:

Twitter:  www.twitter.com/JenSlayvision

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Email:  info@jenslay.com

Linkedin:  https://ca.linkedin.com/in/jenslay

website:  www.jenslay.com

Youtube:  https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCeP-4bcglXNL2_FVoCr0PdQ

Hope in the Face of Hopelessness Part II

Last week I wrote about the similarities and differences between a person with hope and a person who felt hopeless.  Quick recap.  Both the person with hope and the person who feels hopeless experience the three F’s – Fear, frustration and failure.   The main difference between the two is that the person with hope puts action behind theirbelief/hope.  A person who is feeling hopeless does not or feels they cannot make changes to their situation.  I must remind you, the law of physics says that change is inevitable – nothing can remain the same.  The only constant in life is change.  If you can start with that belief, that can be your first step to building the hope muscle.

Please do not think that I am shaming anyone or blaming anyone for their situation.  That is not my intent.  My intent here is to show you that one of the main differences between a person with hope and the person who feels hopeless is that belief/hope in action.  There are MANY reasons as to why a person may be feeling hopeless and feels they are not able to get out of their situation.  I’m not minimizing that many people who are feeling hopeless have a number of other things going on in their lives that feed into the hopelessness like mental health concerns for example.  However, I am saying that with the right supports and by implementing F.A.D. you can strengthen that hope muscle.

What is F.A.D.?

Focus on the positive

Adopt an attitude of gratitude

Daily Affirmations

Focus on the Positive.  When I say focus on the positive, what goes through your mind?  Most people say it means focusing on the good and not thinking about the not so good.  However, one thing that is important to note, is that acknowledging the negative is not a “bad thing”.  Actually, no value judgement needs to be placed on it.  When something bad or negative happens to us, in order to effectively move past the incident/issue we have to feel the emotions as they are, acknowledge the feeling and then move on.  We don’t stay there.  Focusing on the positive means focusing on what you have understanding and accepting where you are and developing a plan to move forward.

 

The other day I woke up thinking “Oh, man I have so much I have to do today” and I quickly corrected myself and said “Oh man, I get to do so much today”.  Perspective is everything!  I get that there are situations that happen in life that seem unfair like the death of a loved one for example.  How do you find the positive in that?  Especially if the loved one is a child or someone who has passed suddenly and tragically?  How do we reframe that?  My suggestion is to feel the sadness, acknowledge that it’s not fair but don’t stay in the trenches.  What did you learn from having that relationship?  What did you love about knowing the person?  What can you do to honor that relationship?  This is how you focus on the positive.  Focus on what you have and not on what you don’t have.

Adopt an attitude of gratitude.  An exercise that goes hand in hand with focusing on the positive is adopting an attitude of gratitude.  I would encourage that every day before you start your day, you look in the mirror and tell yourself three things that you are grateful for.  Ensure to do the same thing in the evening before bed.  When we focus on what we have as opposed to what we don’t have, something happens in our brains and we subconsciously work to maintain or get more of that which makes us happy.  Essentially, when you exercise gratitude the universe works to bring you more.  The result is abundance.  Again, unfortunate events in life can and do happen, but if we can be grateful in the face of those times, we are setting ourselves up for more positive things to happen in our lives.

Daily Affirmations.  Some people actually laugh at the idea of saying daily affirmations because they may think it’s silly or feels weird to affirm daily what you want.  I say – do it anyway.  It can’t hurt!  Research has shown that when we say daily affirmations, it enhances our mood which helps us to accomplish more and helps to increase our confidence levels.  There is also research that shows that people who use positive words and surround themselves with positive messages increase their muscle mass while those who speak negatively of themselves show a decrease in their muscle mass and are more fatigued.  Interesting right?  However, positive affirmations by themselves, in isolation, is not recommended.  Putting action behind the words is important.  Putting yourself on a plan to make the affirmations your genetic truth is vital.  If I say “I am a great motivational speaker” but I do not practice speaking, I read pure negativity and essentially do nothing to make myself great I am setting myself up for disappointment.  If you say “I’m healthy and strong” but you do not do any exercise, eat only fast food, and surround yourself with negativity – that affirmation is likely not going to work because you are not putting positive and purposeful action behind it.  Please, do not misunderstand me – I’m not trying to condemn anyone – but I am trying to set you up to win.  Put positive and purposeful action behind your affirmation and watch it happen.

So how do you find hope when you feel hopeless?  You recognize that one of the main differences between a person with hope and  a person who feels hopeless is that the person with hope is putting purposeful action behind their belief in self and ability.  A person with hope will also implement F.A.D. – Focus on the positive; Adopt an attitude of gratitude; and say Daily affirmations.  Putting F.A.D. into action will help build your hope muscle.  Try it.  Let me know how it goes.

In addition, if we make an effort to remember those top great moments in our lives then that will help foster putting a smile on your face.  Here are my top ten.  I hope they put a smile on your face.

If you liked what you’ve read and it has helped you in some way please like, share, and comment below.  If you didn’t like what you read – share it anyway – someone needs to read this today.

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Remember to subscribe!  We have a Finesse private Facebook group where we interact daily to encourage and support one another.  Please join us:  https://www.facebook.com/groups/FinesseYourLife/

Slay Your Day!

P.P.S. I wrote a book called Finesse Your Life – Mind, Body and Spirit!  Check it out on Amazon.com and Amazon.ca!  Paperback and Kindle versions available.  For an autographed copy please go to the website under the “shop” tab.

https://www.amazon.com/Finesse-Your-Life-Mind-Spirit/dp/1548117080/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1499282890&sr=8-1&keywords=Finesse+Your+Life

Visit Jen on:

Twitter:  www.twitter.com/JenSlayvision

Facebook:  www.facebook.com/jenslayvisionary

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Email:  info@jenslay.com

Linkedin:  https://ca.linkedin.com/in/jenslay

website:  www.jenslay.com

Youtube:  https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCeP-4bcglXNL2_FVoCr0PdQ

Relationship 101

I’m never going to pretend to be a relationship expert in my own life.  My stories are so dramatic they would make great soap opera scripts.  However, I’m incredibly observant and objective when it comes to the relationships of others.  Interesting huh?  Actually, I was speaking to a doctor of psychology once about this very subject and he said, it is very common for those who teach to teach amazingly well but not use that same objectivity in their own lives.  Hmmmmmmm.  Interesting.

So you know me, I won’t take that as a definitive answer.  I just had to prove him wrong.  I can apply my skills with clients to myself if I am purposeful about it.    So I started to observe and scrutinize my own personal relationships and do a bit more observing of the relationships around me.  People, I’ve got to say, we all need to take a step back and RELAX.

Today I wanted to post a cute and funny video on facebook with my Top Ten Most Romantic Date ideas.  In posting that, I wanted to get a message across about how we treat one another in personal, intimate relationships.  I promise not to get too preachy, but this really has to be said.

I have observed friends, colleagues, fb acquaintances, family members, clients and even myself become utterly confused when it comes to relationships.  I’ve watched and experienced tears and pain from rejection, being taken advantage of and broken hearts.  Here’s the thing luvs, relationships really are not complicated if you go into it with three things – honesty, transparency, and kindness.  If you do what you’re supposed to do, and a time comes when you have to walk away, you can do so with a clear conscious.

Image result for honesty clarity transparency pic

Too often, too many people see someone they want to get to know on an intimate level.  They have a preconceived idea of what that person is like and then they act accordingly to try to win favor with that person.  What if we all made the decision to just be ourselves.  What if we decided that if our personalities just are not good enough for the person we want to impress, then we simply move on?  What would happen if we did that?  I mean, isn’t it better than creating a back story for yourself and making yourself more than you actually are only to have to create a lie to support the lie later.  Eventually the truth is going to come out anyways, so why not be upfront and honest from the beginning.  There’s this old saying that says, you can fool some of the people some of the time, but you can’t fool all of the people all of the time.

Here is where I’m at in life.  If you are going to enter someone’s life, make your impression honest and positive.  It’s simple and in this case EASY!  See here’s the thing, you do not know what mess or craziness has gone on in another person’s life.  YOU DO NOT HAVE TO CONTRIBUTE TO THE MADNESS!  I’m being so serious now.  In all you choose to do from here on out choose to be a contributor of positivity, honesty, transparency, and clarity.  Your past is the past you cannot change it.  You can, however, make a conscious decision on how to proceed right after reading this blog.  How?  BE YOURSELF.  If you are interested in someone because you think they have a lot to offer just tell them that.  If you are not interested in someone but you need something from them just tell them that.  I’m laughing right now because I recently had a situation where a guy tried to get romantically involved with me because I guess he thought if I was interested in him I’d help him out with something he needed.  First – I don’t appreciate that someone thought I could be bought that way – not cool.  Secondly, had he been honest I would have gladly helped him out.  I didn’t have an agenda when it came to him anyways – LOL.  In other words, don’t waste people’s time with fancy lines, false promises, and things you think they want to hear.  At this stage of life it’s a time robber and personally, my time is precious.

Image result for honesty clarity transparency pic

Mother Theresa pic was a nice touch right?  LOL.  Ok, so many of you may be thinking I’m venting.  Well, I kind of am but not because I feel I’ve recently been hurt or anything, primarily because after observing these interactions of people in relationships for the last six-eight months – I’m talking seriously observing and taking notes – I am just really tired of seeing and reading about people getting hurt by one another.  I’m also not impressed with being approached by men who do not value the importance of honesty, transparency and clarity.  Here’s a personal example.  I am approached by someone and here is what I say:  I’M NOT DATING OR WANT TO DATE RIGHT NOW.  I’M GOOD ON MY OWN RIGHT NOW.  I’M CONCENTRATING ON ME, MY KIDS AND BUSINESS RIGHT NOW.  See how easy honesty, clarity, and transparency can be?  So here is a clear example, if I say I don’t want to date, then don’t pursue me thinking I will change my mind.  You will be wasting your time AND your feelings might get hurt?  Not because I will hurt them, but because you have spent so much time trying to get me to change my mind with no luck.  Y’all know I love you but we have to listen to the words people say and take them at face value.

WHAT IF we decided that when we met someone we were straight honest with them and allowed them to make an informed decision as to whether or not they wanted to move forward with us? I know, a scary proposition right?  They may not like us if we show our true colors.  Here’s the thing – those colors are going to come out.  Yes, we are on our best behavior in the beginning of any new relationship, but we can be on our best behavior and still be honest.  If the person we want decides to stop things – then that’s cool. Out of the billions of people in this world, that one person is not going to make or break your world. It may hurt but you will get over it – trust me I know what I’m talking about. A friend of mine said to me – “If people could be honest with one another in the beginning of a relationship, and that person decides that even after hearing the intentions of their pursuer they want to carry on, then both people have clarity of what to expect and can’t accuse anyone of lying to them later”.  Ladies!  Men!  Listen to what is being told to you.  Don’t think you can change anyone.  Be purposeful in your actions and make informed decisions.  Basically, in the end, let’s try to be kind to one another and treat eachother with respect and love.  Sermon over  (mic drop).

Now that I have you thinking, let’s get to laughing.  Enjoy the video!

If you liked what you’ve read and it has helped you in some way please like, share, and comment below.  If you didn’t like what you read – share it anyway – someone needs to read this today.

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Remember to subscribe!  We have a Finesse private Facebook group where we interact daily to encourage and support one another.  Please join us:  https://www.facebook.com/groups/FinesseYourLife/

Slay Your Day!

P.P.S. I wrote a book called Finesse Your Life – Mind, Body and Spirit!  Check it out on Amazon.com and Amazon.ca!  Paperback and Kindle versions available.  For an autographed copy please go to the website under the “shop” tab.

https://www.amazon.com/Finesse-Your-Life-Mind-Spirit/dp/1548117080/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1499282890&sr=8-1&keywords=Finesse+Your+Life

Visit Jen on:

Twitter:  www.twitter.com/JenSlayvision

Facebook:  www.facebook.com/jenslayvisionary

Instagram:  www.instagram.com/coachjenslay

Email:  info@jenslay.com

Linkedin:  https://ca.linkedin.com/in/jenslay

website:  www.jenslay.com

Youtube:  https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCeP-4bcglXNL2_FVoCr0PdQ